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Chapter 18 of Matthew is a series of teachings about what community of Jesus' disciples is to be like / look like / act like.
The previous passage, Matthew 18:15-20, outlines a detailed process for resolving conflicts WITHIN the community. At a minimum this should give us a heads up that there will be conflict within the church. We will fight. There is no question of that. The question is: How will resolve conflicts? (We will resolve conflicts, won't we? Not just hold silent grudges for the rest of our lives. Just asking.)
Good old Peter can see a loop hole in the advice Jesus gives.
This is good advice Jesus. But what should we do if the offender DOES listen, and there is reconciliation. But then they do the same sin again. And reconcile again. And sin again. And again. How often should I forgive?
The answer Jesus gives, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times," is like saying:
Forgive them until it works.
That is, "seventy-seven" is an exaggeration not to be taken literally.
This particular teaching is very problematic for everyone who is in an abusive relationship. Taken by itself, it impies an abused woman should never stop forgiving her man no matter how many times he beats her. This is not what Jesus means. Jesus does not want anyone ever to get beaten up. Jesus wants all beatings to stop. And Jesus wants for the cycle of violence that leads to beatings to stop. This is a case of Jesus wanting us to forgive the sinner but not the sin. "Yes, I forgive YOU, but not the violence. For the relationship to continue, the violence must stop. And even if the relationship does not continue, my heart will be in a state of forgiveness, not fear / anger / resentment / etc."
While it does not directly address this specific concern, the parable that follows touches on this issue.
Once again Jesus uses exaggeration to illustrate his point.
According to Bruce Malina, a "talent" was equal to 6,000 denarii; and a denarius is the coin used to pay for one day's labour. So one talent is approximately 20 years of labour. Which makes the slave's debt about 200,000 years of labour. So when the slave falls on his knees and begs for "patience" from his master, he is making an impossible request.
Nonetheless, the Lord opts to demonstrate the extent of his honour by forgiving the large debt.
However, by turning around and not forgiving an insignificant amount owed to him, the forgiven slave, in effect, mocks what the king has just done. Instead of reflecting the honour of his Lord, the slave dishonours his Lord by his mean spirited behaviour.
When it is brought to the King's attention what has happened - and especially, what people are gossiping about his servants - he is angry. The behaviour of his servant is a direct reflection on the honour of the King. And in this case, the servant's behaviour has brought shame and dis-honour to the King. And so the King responds in a way to restore his standing - the hard-hearted slave is sent away for appropriate punishment.
Among other possibilities, if we come back to consider the case of an abusive relationship, and apply the parable, we find that the abuser ought now to show the same quality of mercy and forgiveness that has been shown to him. When the cycle of violence reaches the trigger point again, the appropriate response is NOT anger and violence but the same mercy and forgiveness that has previously been granted to him. Otherwise, he brings dis-honour on God, and will be treated accordingly.
These are terribly hard teachings.
Jesus is calling us to give up calculating offenses and forgivenesses; and instead to have a forgiving heart; a forgiven heart; a heart for forgiveness. This is a shift of ATTITUDE. But it is not an "anything goes" attitude.
Forgiveness actually stand FOR some things; and therefore, does NOT stand for everything.
Figuring out how to live this out in community can sometimes be complex and difficult beyond our capacities. Nonetheless, with God's grace - and forgiveness - we are called to reflect God's mercy AND God's honour AND God's righteousness.
David Ewart,
www.davidewart.ca
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